his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
