I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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