Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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