my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
