the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
