no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
