Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Can I color on your dick again?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize