Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize