i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
