There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
