I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
