Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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