so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize