from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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