Tell her she can't have a vagina
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i out mim tonsoeep
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