its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
