idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
