He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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