I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
