So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
