well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
