Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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