I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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