break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize