is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
