i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
