and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I did not marry a roomba.
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