I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
where am i from again
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
