the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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