I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Come see our sink grown plant.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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