there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize