I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
