what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
