Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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