but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
