I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
