it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
