No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
