So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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