he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
third nipple confirmed
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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