p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
People with herpes should wear stickers.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
