If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We're too hungover to prance.
you never un-have a 4some
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
