so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
