I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My penis needs a shock collar
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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