she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
