My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
