The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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