You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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