where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We got so high we made milksteak
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
