What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
