i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize