I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize