from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
