I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
