And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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