I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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