Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
