i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
