i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
