I'm lost and stupid without you.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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