For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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