In the future we'll all be gay
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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