'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
