I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You took a bar mat shot.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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