Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
please come you make the beer taste better
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
