..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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