it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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