And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
