Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if only i could text you this smell
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize