Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Come on in and take your pants off
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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