stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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