Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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