I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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