so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
