I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
