Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
