I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
